The queue

I can reduce the speed of a queue to zero just by joining it.

You should never wait behind me in a queue;
You are doomed to wait for ever if you do.
I can definitely prove
Queues with me in never move,
They just stand like statues, checking out the view.

It’s a puzzle. It’s as though I have a gland
That sprays a queue-retardant o’er the land
Which, when settled on a queue,
Envelops it like glue,
And immobilises people where they stand.

I know the folk behind me get irate
At having an interminable wait.
There is nothing I can do
To revive my stationary queue;
But next time, I will warn them of their fate . . .

I’ll design a shirt with these words marked in blue,
“Here’s a warning, aimed specifically at YOU:
I’m afraid you’re out of luck,
For this queue is firmly stuck.
You should never wait behind me in a queue”.

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