Come dancing

After years of patient instruction and encouragement in our weekly term-time evening classes, we are still struggling with getting the various parts of our bodies pointing in the right direction at the right time, yet our ballroom dancing teacher retains her sense of humour. (The television programme Come Dancing used to show couples gliding and swirling with effortless grace across an assortment of UK dance floors.)

Our long-suffering teacher of dance
Does her utmost to help us advance:
“Look, it goes slow, quick, quick, slow,”
She says. “Heel, toe. . . no, TOE!
Will we get on Come Dancing? No chance!

Of our teacher, it’s often been said
She’s got eyes in the back of her head –
Half-a-dozen, or more,
Which can scan the whole floor.
(Either that, or she’s psychic, instead.)

She can dance as a girl or a bloke,
Which is quite beyond ordinary folk.
Should your dancing offend her,
She’ll adopt the best gender
To sort out your steps at a stroke.

You will hear her encouraging call
As you chassé and whisk round the hall.
Yes, our teacher’s employment
Provides such enjoyment
That everyone’s having a ball!

[Image: amherstvictoriandance.org (painting by Vladimir Pervuninsky)]
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