Wildlife friendly

It’s a philosophy regularly trotted out by writers and broadcasters on gardening, but I don’t think they stop to ponder the implications.

Our garden’s wildlife-friendly,
But when wildlife comes to visit
It devastates our vegetables.
Now that’s not friendly, is it?

If wildlife won’t be nice to us,
I’ll go on the attack:
I’ll shout at them and be quite rude
Until they all turn back.

Then I’ll cover all the garden
With sheets of see-through plastic.
(Well, when food supplies are threatened,
The solution must be drastic . . .)

I’ll make some holes to let in rain,
Providing irrigation
Through special valves, which won’t admit
Those objects of vexation.

There’ll be some airlock openings
To ventilate the plot,
And automatic sun shades
For when the weather’s hot.

I’ll let in worms and hoverflies,
And pollinating bees,
For they are friendly wildlife
And may do just as they please!

Then we’ll look out at the garden
And think, “It’s such a shame.
Our garden’s wildlife-friendly,
But it isn’t quite the same . . .”

[Image of Harrod Horticultural’s downloadable book: theenduringgardener.com]
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