It’s not widely known that Alfred Longley (1894–1965), from Worthing in Sussex, invented the over-land submarine and the underground kite. He also wrote tales about one “Jimmy Smuggles”, a chap of similar inventiveness and a Treacle Miner of nearby Sompting. Jimmy’s creations and activities are noted in Jacqueline Simpson’s 1973 book The Folklore of Sussex, but deserve a wider audience, so some are detailed below:
If you’re needing a hole lifted over a wall,
Then make Jimmy Smuggles your first port of call.
If the night sky be dark and you’re wanting it bright,
What you need is “Jim Smuggles’ Fresh Bottled Moonlight”.
Is your garden adorned by a fine weeping willow?
Well, don’t let the poor thing weep into its pillow,
Act now, for it’s tragic to witness such grief:
Buy “Jim’s Weeping Willow-tree Handkerchief”.
For breakfast, you’d better be safe than be sorry,
So eat “Smuggles Porridge”, direct from his quarry,
Then stir in some treacle from Jim’s Treacle Mine
For a meal that is nourishing, tasty, divine!
So who’s this Jim Smuggles, and where can he be?
Inventor, philanthropist, friend of the tree,
Provider of food that comes out of the ground –
Jim Smuggles of Sompting is somewhere around . . .